Right on.
Right on.
Happy Friday to all you Internet People!!
So, today is Friday and i know for a fact that if you’re in Toronto than you had one hell of a commute this morning. So, let’s give a slow clap for the TTC for their truly remarkable effort to get us to work at after 9, but not before skipping our stop altogether…3 times.
Well, the good news is that you’re so close to the weekend freedom that you can practically taste the freedom (to me it tastes like draft beer, and penny-candy). So, I decided that Fridays require a soundtrack to pick up your mood. Because as Barney Stinson always quotes, a soundtrack should be all high! So, I dug up this little ditty from sometime in the late 90s when I was wearing overalls and playing 7 minutes in heaven… alone.
And if, like me, you are loving Supergrass than you should also re-discover “alright” from Clueless. Everyone likes Clueless- its just a fact.
So, I’m sure most people have seen Shit Girls Say, and had a chance to glace at the listing of other “shit (fill in demographic here) say”. While a lot of these attempts are parodies are often quite bad. This one is actually pretty hilarious… if you’re over the age of 18. Some of these references may mean nothing to you if you are still able to smile without producing wrinkles beside your eyes or mouth.
For the rest of you age-appropriate readers, Enjoy!!
ps- if you haven’t seen “shit girls say”, where have you been? Get on that ASAP http://youtu.be/u-yLGIH7W9Y
So, I was laying in bed watching a beautiful Sunrise in Lima, Peru since it’s too friggin hot to sleep in my 11th floor apartment, when all of a sudden I sprung up and instantly pouted when I realized how much I want to get back to the Frigid Canadian Winter. I miss the snow, the achingly cold winter nights, I even miss the way your tears freeze and you think you may die if you have to spend another minute looking for your car after a huge snow storm makes the parking lot look like a coke-head’s nostril!
I miss poutine, and beavertails, I miss seeing a thai restaurant beside an Indian one across from a Starbucks which is beside a Brazilian BBQ restaurant that use to be a vegan restaurant. I miss the diversity of crowds walking down the street and even the parade of weirdos that ride the TTC every morning. I miss people saying sorry when you run into them, and I miss people holding doors open for me when I am still 20ft away from the door. I miss pubs filled with drunk college kids who know all the words to one-hit wonders from way before they were born. I even miss pretending to be offended when American prime time television makes fun of our accents and generally pleasant dispositions.
And so with all this is mind, this is the conclusion I came to:
When I left for Peru, I was fighting with Canada and frankly, I was sick of its sometimes lethargic demeanor. So, in a dramatically rash decision, I broke up with Canada and stormed out vowing that I never needed it to begin with, and I would be better without it. And now that I am gone, I realize how stupid I was and want to get back together with Canada so badly. I dream about it and picture my future with it. I feel like I finally tested foreign waters and realized that me and Canada are in it for the long haul. There’s no other nation for me but Canada.
I am finally ready to make a serious commitment to Canada and have Canadian babies.
So, today is Feel Good Friday. And since I know the brisk Toronto air will soon be filled with the sounds of Friday rush hour, I have decided that this song should be playing on repeat in everyone’s head while you begin your respective journey home.
This song makes me want to round up the troops, get positively wrecked and hug it out until we get kicked out of the pub. Ah, home sweet home.
Happy Friday from me to you!
So, this is what happens when you tell kids that you ate all their Halloween candy. So mean… but SO amazingly funny.
So, lately I have had time to reflect back on the things in life I still can’t for the life of me figure out how to do. Or simply, just can’t do.
1. Whistle: This has plagued me since childhood. And everyone thinks they have the ultimate trick to help you achieve noise making abilities- they’re wrong. It doesn’t matter how I place my tongue or pucker my lips, its still just air with the occasional drool.
2. Touch my tongue to my nose: I simply won’t ever be able to do this, my genetics won’t let me. Google it, its genetic.
3. Bite Ice cream: I cringe just thinking about it. Alas, in the numerous times I have attempted to bite ice cream due to the sheer excitement of having it in front of me, I have spit out my ice cream and scream-whined in pain. The years of whitening strips and diet pop have eroded my tooth enamel to the point where I might as well just have exposed nerve endings instead of teeth… On the plus side, I do have quite nice straight pearly whites.
4. Be a ventriloquist: This is more limited by my ability to not be able to “throw my voice” per say. In the instances where I have tried to talk without moving my lips, my eyes did the talking. I have this crazy thing happen with my eye brows where they just start dancing when I try to contain my mouth movements. Its as if my voice tried to manifest itself in anyway it can on my facial features. Its quite ridiculous.
5. Sky Dive: Again, this is more a matter of lacking the ability to control my bladder while at any height greater than 10ft. I have this vague memory of my 6-year old self trying to climb off a diving board at swim class. Picture a Mr.Bean type dismount off that thing.
6. Dance like nobody’s watching: Someone’s always watching. And nowadays they have an iphone with which to upload the video onto youtube before you even finish dancing. No thank you, I will continue being a pop superstar in my shower.
7. Tend bar like in Cocktail: You know where (pre-crazy) Tom Cruise and the old guy throw around bottles and make being a bartender look wicked awesome? This movie was solely responsible for my 11 year old self aspiring to be a bar tender for a living. Sadly, my hand-eye coordination has limited me only being allowed to pour wine, uncap beers and cut limes behind the bar.
While I am sure this list is bound to grow as i reflect upon this over the day I think this is enough of what I can’t do to make me break down into a hypo-glycemic weeping fest.
I’m going to go get a Snickers, after which the sugar high will allow me to create the “Things I’m super crazy awesome at” list. Or at least move my pop superstar act from the shower to my office.
99% of cookies are consumed by 1% of Sesame Street. Occupy Sesame Street!
- Amazing.
Does anyone else think the Millennium Dome looks like a pin cushion?
I am not an architect by any means, but I appreciate beautiful buildings and structures. But this is a pin cushion- actually, scratch that. This looks like a jelly fish being attacked by 2HB pencils.
kentfenwick asked: How is PERU???
Its loud, cold and busy…but its new to me, the food is awesome and the summer is near! haha Overall, I think I broke even in the adventure department. I will start posting pictures… the minute I find my camera.
—
- From the Technology Bible: Not-so-new testament.
When Apple decides that adding a ‘s’ scrabble tile to the end of their iphone 4 emblem will make them billions.
So, I’m not a mushy person by any means, but this made me pout, tear up in my right eye (the considerably sissier tear duct), and say “awww!” - all while placing my right hand on my chest in disbelief.
Then I abruptly awoke from my cuteness-coma remembered that this sort of behaviour is highly unlikely for straight men, and that I should begin to invest in house coats and cat food- that’s where my destiny is leading me!
But for everyone else out there who wants to sit at their computer and say “aww” (in unison) here is by far the BEST proposal (by a straight guy) EVER. I actually would be super interested to see an over the top gay proposal- I imagine it would be like carnival in Rio… but in a same-sex marriage supporting state.
Happy Friday!
So, when I woke up this morning I thought to myself, “Dear Non-Denominational Divine Entity, please let there be a reason to roll out of bed on this rather gross day”… and Ta-da! Just like that- I felt my bed start to shake a tiny bit- like the beginning of what could be a rather unsettling earthquake. Well needless to say, this made me leap out of bed and dash for the safe zones in my 11th floor apartment and hug the doorway trying to re-find some religion.
Turns out it was just heavy construction in the apartment above me.
Feel like if my life was a sitcom I should have turned to the camera made the Debbie downer face and heard a loud “wuh wuh”
. Side bar: How exactly do you spell out that noise? Did I not do it any justice? Ah well, I tried.
Non-Denominational Divine Entity - 1, Alicia- 0.
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